Feeling Angry About Things That Are Out of My Control

angry about things that are out of my control

Have you ever felt frustrated or angry about a situation that you couldn’t change, no matter how hard you tried? Maybe it was a work issue, a personal problem, or something beyond your control. Whatever the cause, feeling angry about things that are out of your control can be incredibly challenging.

It’s normal to feel frustrated and helpless when faced with uncontrollable circumstances. However, these emotions can quickly escalate into anger and resentment if not managed properly. In this section, we’ll explore the experience of feeling angry about situations that are beyond our control. We’ll discuss the emotions of anger, frustration, and helplessness that can arise and offer strategies to manage these emotions effectively.

Key Takeaways:

  • Feeling angry about things outside of your control is normal and natural.
  • Unmanaged frustration and helplessness can quickly escalate into anger and resentment.
  • This section will explore anger management strategies for dealing with uncontrollable circumstances.

Understanding Anger and Its Triggers

Anger is a natural, human emotion that can arise in response to a wide range of circumstances. However, when anger becomes uncontrollable and starts to negatively affect our lives, it’s important to understand the triggers that can lead to this behavior.

Managing emotions effectively is key to coping with anger, and anger management can be a helpful tool for those struggling with this issue.

To better understand anger, it’s important to recognize the things that trigger it. Some common triggers include:

  • Stress: Everyday stressors such as work, family, and financial issues can contribute to feelings of anger.
  • Frustration: When things don’t go as planned, it can be frustrating and lead to feelings of anger.
  • Injustice: When you feel that something has been done unfairly, it can lead to feelings of anger and frustration.
  • Feeling threatened: When we feel threatened or attacked – either physically or emotionally – it can lead to feelings of anger.

By identifying these triggers and learning to manage our emotions effectively, we can begin to cope with anger in a healthier way.

Anger management techniques can be helpful in learning to manage emotions and cope with anger. These techniques include:

  1. Deep breathing: Taking deep breaths and counting to ten can help calm the mind during moments of anger.
  2. Physical exercise: Engaging in physical activity such as going for a walk or hitting the gym can help release pent-up frustration.
  3. Relaxation techniques: Practices such as yoga, meditation, and mindfulness can help manage emotions and reduce feelings of anger.

It’s important to remember that managing anger isn’t about suppressing emotions or denying feelings of frustration. Instead, it’s about learning to recognize and manage these emotions so they don’t control our lives.

Understanding Anger and Its Triggers

By understanding the nature of anger and its triggers, we can begin to manage our emotions more effectively and develop healthier coping mechanisms. With the right tools and strategies, it’s possible to reduce feelings of anger and lead a happier, more fulfilling life.

Identifying Uncontrollable Situations

Dealing with uncontrollable situations

Dealing with uncontrollable situations can be frustrating, but it’s important to recognize when something is out of our control. By acknowledging this, we can shift our focus to managing our emotions and reactions to the situation.

One example of an uncontrollable situation is the weather. We can’t change the forecast, but we can prepare ourselves for it. We can bring an umbrella on a rainy day or wear layers on a cold day.

Another example is traffic. While we can’t control the flow of cars on the road, we can plan ahead by leaving earlier or finding alternative routes.

Identifying Uncontrollable Situations in the Workplace

In the workplace, there may be situations that are out of our control as well. For example, a deadline may be moved up due to circumstances beyond our control, such as a client changing their needs.

SituationControllable or Uncontrollable?
The weatherUncontrollable
A client changing their needsUncontrollable
Meeting a deadlineControllable

It’s important to identify these situations and focus on what we can control. By doing so, we can reduce feelings of helplessness and frustration and approach the situation with a clear and level head.

The Influence of Mindset on Anger

Emotional management

Our mindset plays a crucial role in how we perceive and respond to uncontrollable situations. When we adopt a negative mindset, we are more likely to experience intense feelings of anger and frustration.

“The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.” – Winston Churchill

One effective way to shift our mindset is through cognitive restructuring. This involves identifying negative thought patterns and replacing them with more positive and realistic ones. For example, instead of ruminating on thoughts like “this situation is unbearable,” we can reframe it as “this situation is difficult, but I have the resilience to face it.”

Mindfulness meditation is another powerful technique to manage emotions and cultivate a positive mindset. Research shows that regular mindfulness practice can reduce stress and improve emotional regulation by strengthening the prefrontal cortex, the brain region responsible for cognitive control.

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Example of a Positive Thought Pattern Table

Negative Thought PatternPositive Thought Pattern
This situation is unbearable.This situation is challenging, but I can handle it with patience and perseverance.
I can’t stand how unfair this is.While it’s unfortunate, I can focus on what I can control and take action accordingly.
I’ll never be able to handle this.With each challenge, I become more resilient and learn how to better manage my emotions.

By adopting a positive mindset, we can learn to manage our emotions effectively and reduce the intensity of anger and frustration that occurs when faced with uncontrollable situations.

Accepting the Unchangeable

dealing with frustration and accepting the unchangeable

When faced with uncontrollable situations, it’s common to feel frustrated and helpless. However, constantly dwelling on these negative emotions can lead to increased anger and stress. Instead, it’s important to come to terms with the fact that some circumstances are simply out of our control. This can help us find peace and move forward. Here are some tips for accepting the unchangeable:

  1. Focus on what you can control: While there may be certain aspects of a situation that are unchangeable, there are often still things within our power to influence. Concentrate on these areas and take action where possible.
  2. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness meditation can be a helpful tool for accepting the things we cannot change. By bringing our attention to the present moment and observing our thoughts and emotions without judgment, we can develop a greater sense of calm and acceptance.
  3. Find the silver lining: Look for positive aspects within the situation. Perhaps it’s an opportunity to grow and learn, or a chance to connect with others on a deeper level.
  4. Seek support: It can be helpful to talk to a trusted friend or family member about what you’re going through. They may be able to offer a new perspective or simply provide a listening ear.
  5. Practice self-care: When dealing with frustrating situations, it’s important to take care of yourself both mentally and physically. This can include activities like exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature.

Remember, accepting the unchangeable is a process that takes time and practice. However, by incorporating these tips into your daily life, you can develop greater emotional resilience and find peace even in the face of adversity.

Developing Emotional Resilience

Emotional Resilience

In order to cope with anger and manage our emotions effectively, it’s important to develop emotional resilience. This means having the ability to bounce back from difficult situations and navigate our emotions with greater ease. Here are some techniques to help you cultivate emotional resilience:

  1. Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself is crucial for emotional resilience. This means getting enough sleep, eating healthily, and engaging in activities that recharge you, such as yoga or meditation.
  2. Build a support system: Having people in your life who can offer emotional support and empathy can make all the difference. This can include friends, family, or a therapist.
  3. Learn to manage stress: Stress can exacerbate anger and other negative emotions. Developing stress management techniques, such as deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation, can help you stay calm and centered in the face of challenges.
  4. Practice gratitude: Focusing on the positive aspects of your life can help shift your mindset and increase resilience. Take time each day to reflect on what you’re grateful for, whether it’s a supportive friend or a beautiful sunset.
  5. Challenge negative thinking: Negative thoughts can fuel anger and other negative emotions. Learning to identify and challenge these thoughts can help you develop a more balanced perspective on challenging situations.

By incorporating these practices into your life, you can develop greater emotional resilience and better manage your emotions, even in the face of uncontrollable situations.

Effective Communication and Boundaries

managing emotions

When facing situations that are out of our control, it’s essential to communicate our feelings constructively and set healthy boundaries. Managing emotions and coping with anger can be challenging, but effective communication can help prevent conflicts and promote understanding.

One strategy for effective communication is using “I” statements to express your feelings without blaming others. For example, instead of saying “You’re making me so angry,” say “I feel frustrated when I don’t have control over the situation.”

Another crucial aspect of effective communication is active listening. When someone is speaking, make an effort to listen attentively and understand their perspective. Clarify any misunderstandings and validate their emotions to show that you’re genuinely interested in communicating and finding a resolution.

Setting boundaries is also crucial to managing emotions and coping with anger. It’s okay to say “no” to requests that make you uncomfortable or put you in stressful situations. Additionally, establishing clear boundaries can prevent others from crossing lines that trigger angry reactions.

Example of effective communication and boundary-setting:

Unhealthy ApproachHealthy Approach
“You’re always making me upset when you don’t do what I ask.”“I feel frustrated when my requests don’t get met. Can we find a solution that works for both of us?”
“I can’t believe you would do something like this. You’re so selfish.”“I feel hurt when my boundaries are crossed. Can we discuss ways to respect each other’s needs?”
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Remember, managing emotions and coping with anger require practice and patience. Effective communication and boundary-setting can help you navigate situations that are out of your control and maintain healthy relationships.

Seeking Support and Self-Care

self-care to manage emotions

Dealing with frustration and managing emotions can be challenging, and sometimes it’s important to seek support. Talking to someone about your feelings can offer perspective and provide a sense of relief. Consider speaking to a friend, family member, or therapist who can listen to you without judging.

Self-care is also crucial in managing anger. Engage in activities that bring you joy, such as reading a book, taking a walk, or practicing yoga. It’s important to make time for relaxation and prioritize your own well-being.

Remember, managing emotions and coping with anger is a process. Seeking support and taking care of yourself can help you navigate these emotions effectively.

Self-Care Strategies

  • Take breaks throughout the day to rest and recharge
  • Practice deep breathing exercises
  • Get enough sleep each night
  • Eat a balanced and nutritious diet
  • Engage in physical activity, such as yoga or dancing
  • Do something creative, such as painting or writing
  • Connect with loved ones regularly
  • Set boundaries and say no when necessary

“Taking care of yourself is essential in managing your emotions. It’s important to prioritize self-care and seek support when needed.”

Finding Empowerment in Action

Managing Emotions

When faced with uncontrollable situations, it’s natural to feel frustrated and helpless, but taking positive action can provide a sense of empowerment and reduce anger. Here are some practical steps you can take:

  • Focus on what you can control: While some situations may be out of your control, there are often aspects that you can influence. Identify what actions you can take and create a plan to address the situation.
  • Engage in self-care: Prioritizing self-care can help reduce stress and increase resilience. Be kind to yourself and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with loved ones.
  • Seek support: Don’t hesitate to reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional for support. Sometimes, simply talking about your feelings can help you regain a sense of control.
  • Get involved: Consider joining a community organization or volunteering for a cause you care about. Engaging in meaningful activities can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Remember, taking positive action doesn’t necessarily mean fixing the situation. It’s about finding ways to make a difference, no matter how small, and feeling empowered in the process.

“Taking positive action can provide a sense of empowerment and reduce anger.”

Cultivating Gratitude and Perspective


When facing frustrating situations that we cannot control, it is easy to become consumed by negative emotions. However, by cultivating gratitude and shifting our perspective, we can find peace amidst the chaos.

One way to cultivate gratitude is to start a daily gratitude practice. This can be as simple as listing three things you are grateful for each day. By focusing on the positive aspects of our lives, we can shift our attention away from the frustrations that are out of our control.

Another powerful tool in managing emotions and dealing with frustration is to shift our perspective. Try to see the situation from a different angle. Is there something to be learned or gained from the experience? How can you use this situation to grow and develop?

The Power of Perspective

A study conducted by researchers at the University of Kentucky found that individuals who practiced perspective-taking, or trying to see a situation from someone else’s point of view, had lower levels of anger and aggression than those who did not engage in this practice1. By considering different perspectives, we can gain a more nuanced understanding of the situation and reduce our emotional response.

“When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.” – Wayne Dyer

By shifting our mindset and focusing on gratitude and perspective, we can cultivate emotional resilience and manage our anger effectively.

  1. What are three things you are grateful for today?
  2. How can you shift your perspective on a frustrating situation?

1 Kross, E., Berman, M. G., Mischel, W., Smith, E. E., & Wager, T. D. (2011). Social rejection shares somatosensory representations with physical pain. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 108(15), 6270–6275. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1102693108

Practicing Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques

man meditating

When faced with uncontrollable situations, it’s common to feel overwhelmed and stressed, which can lead to anger and frustration. Practicing mindfulness and relaxation techniques can help manage and reduce these difficult emotions.

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Mindfulness involves focusing your attention on the present moment, without judgment. This practice can help shift your perspective and reduce negative thoughts and emotions.

Simple Mindfulness Exercise

  1. Find a quiet and comfortable space where you won’t be interrupted.
  2. Sit in a comfortable position and close your eyes.
  3. Focus on your breath and notice the sensation of air going in and out of your body.
  4. If your mind starts to wander, simply acknowledge the thoughts and gently bring your attention back to your breath.
  5. Repeat this exercise for a few minutes, gradually increasing the time as you feel more comfortable.

Relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing exercises and progressive muscle relaxation, can also help manage stress and reduce anger.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation Exercise

  1. Find a quiet and comfortable space where you won’t be interrupted.
  2. Lie down or sit comfortably, and close your eyes.
  3. Focus on your breath, taking slow and deep breaths.
  4. Starting with your toes, tense the muscles for a few seconds, then release and relax.
  5. Moving up your body, tense and relax each muscle group, including your legs, abdomen, arms, and face.
  6. Finish by taking a few deep breaths, then slowly opening your eyes.

By incorporating these techniques into your daily routine, you can build emotional management skills and reduce feelings of anger and frustration.


Managing anger and dealing with frustration can be challenging when faced with uncontrollable situations. However, it is important to prioritize emotional management and seek support to maintain well-being.

Throughout this article, we have explored various strategies for coping with anger, including identifying uncontrollable situations, shifting mindset, practicing self-care, and seeking support. By cultivating emotional resilience and finding empowerment in positive action, we can reduce anger and frustration and regain a sense of control.

Key Takeaways:

  • Identify uncontrollable situations and accept the unchangeable.
  • Shift mindset and cultivate gratitude and perspective.
  • Practice mindfulness and relaxation techniques.
  • Communicate effectively and set boundaries.
  • Prioritize self-care and seek support.

By incorporating these strategies into your daily routine, you can effectively manage anger and maintain emotional well-being. Remember, it is okay to ask for help and seek support when needed. By taking care of yourself, you can better navigate the ups and downs of life and maintain a positive outlook.

Keywords: anger management, dealing with frustration, emotional management


What should I do when I feel angry about things that are out of my control?

It’s normal to feel frustrated and helpless in such situations. Take deep breaths, step back, and try to focus on what you can control instead.

How can I manage my emotions and cope with anger?

Understanding your emotions is the first step. Find healthy outlets for your anger, such as exercise or talking to a supportive person. Seek professional help if needed.

How do I know if a situation is truly out of my control?

Look for signs such as no influence over the outcome, inability to change the circumstances, or reliance on other people’s actions. Acceptance is key.

How can my mindset contribute to feelings of anger?

Negative thinking patterns can amplify anger. Practice positive self-talk, reframe your perspective, and focus on solutions rather than dwelling on the problem.

How can I accept the things that are out of my control?

Letting go is crucial. Acknowledge that some things are beyond your influence and focus on finding peace within yourself. Practice self-compassion.

How can I build emotional resilience?

Remember that setbacks are an opportunity for growth. Practice self-care, nurture supportive relationships, and cultivate a growth mindset.

How can effective communication and boundaries help in managing anger?

Clearly express your feelings without attacking others. Set healthy boundaries to protect yourself and prevent situations that trigger your anger.

What should I do to seek support and engage in self-care?

Reach out to friends, family, or professionals for guidance and support. Engage in activities that bring you joy and practice self-care regularly.

How can taking positive action empower me when faced with uncontrollable situations?

Focus on what you can control and take steps towards positive change. Advocate for yourself, join relevant communities, and make a difference where you can.

How can gratitude and perspective help in managing anger?

Shift your focus to what you are grateful for. Practice mindfulness and reflect on the bigger picture, gaining a broader perspective on the situation.

What are some mindfulness and relaxation techniques to reduce anger?

Practice deep breathing, meditation, or yoga to calm your mind and body. Engage in activities that help you relax, such as listening to music or taking a walk in nature.

In conclusion, what are the key points to remember about anger management and dealing with uncontrollable situations?

It’s important to acknowledge and manage your emotions, seek support when needed, and prioritize self-care. Cultivate gratitude, shift your perspective, and practice mindfulness to find peace and reduce anger.


Baron Cooke has been writing and editing for 7 years. He grew up with an aptitude for geometry, statistics, and dimensions. He has a BA in construction management and also has studied civil infrastructure, engineering, and measurements. He is the head writer of measuringknowhow.com

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